Tails From Torchwood
by PygmyCritter
Summary: Gwen has a run in with an unusual foe. How will she and the others react to a sudden change in her? Just a bit of goofiness on my part. Had it runnin' through my head, so here it is.
1. Chapter 1

**Notes: Okay, here's one that's just a bit of pure silliness. Hope you enjoy! And thanks in advance for any reviews that come my way.**

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"You have to do something." Gwen said as the team entered the hub. "I can't stay like this, Jack."

"I know." Jack said as he stared at her. It was rather hard not to. "We'll do some checking and talk to our new friend, and we'll figure it out."

"Rhys is on his way." Ianto said.

"Rhys?" Gwen asked, completely shocked. "Why did you call him?"

"Well, given what's happened, I thought it best." Ianto explained.

"Couldn't you have just waited 'til we could do something, then call him?" she asked as she plopped down in the nearest chair.

"Well, we don't know how long it will take for things to..." Ianto began,stopping to stare at her. "Well, ware off."

"If they do." Owen put in as he sat across from her smiling.

"Oh, don't you start." she said, crossing her increasingly furry arms over her chest.

"I told you to hold off." he said. "But no, you wouldn't listen."

"I know." she said angrily. "You've had your 'I told you so', so you can shut up now."

"I'll go and have a chat with our guest and see what he has to say." Jack said as he headed for the cells.

"I'll come with you." Ianto said as he tore his eyes from Gwen's furry form. "Your interigations are usually rather amusing."

"By that you mean terrifying, right?" Jack asked.

"In a way, yes." Ianto nodded.

"Keep it up, Jones." Jack warned jokingly. "You can be replaced."

"You know that's not true." Ianto replied with a smile. "No one makes coffee like I do."

"Among other things." Jack muttered, returning the smile.

"How are you feeling?" Tosh asked as she walked over and handed Gwen a bottle of water.

"I'm covered in fur, I've got one rabbit's ear and a tail." Gwen said. "I'm just fine."

Owen and Tosh stared at Gwen. She sat there drinking her water, one long black and white ear drooping at the tip, whiskers starting around her nose, and her teeth were protruding a bit.

"Don't worry." Owen said soothingly. "We'll take care of you."

"Really?" Gwen asked, feeling rather touched by his sudden concern.

"Yeah. We'll do you a nice big cage, make sure you've lots of fresh greens, fresh water." he said with a sympathetic smile.

"And no one will be able to get to your feet." Tosh added.

"My feet?" Gwen asked, her ire rising at their constant teasing.

"Yes, you know, people use rabbit's feet for good luck." Tosh replied.

"Oh, so I'll be the new Torchwood pet, and no one can dangle my foot from their keys." Gwen said sarcastically. "Lovely, bloody lovely."

"Gwen?" Rhys's voice called.

"Down here." she called back, dreading having to explain this.

"What happened?" Rhys asked as he rushed down to meet her. "Ianto didn't go into much detail..." his voice trailed off as he stopped and stared at his fiancee.

"I had a wee run in with a rabid rabbit from outerspace." she said sheepishly.

"I see." he said as he moved closer. "You know, just because I asked you to dress like a Playboy bunny once, didn't mean you had to take me so seriously."

"Rhys!" Gwen cried. "Your fiancee is sitting in front of you, part rabbit and you make jokes?"

"Sorry, love." he said holding his arms open. "Come here."

"I hate Torchwood sometimes." she said as she went to him and hugged him.

"Me too." he said, his body starting to tremble.

"Rhys, don't cry." Gwen said, mistaking his laughter for sobs.

"I'll try not to." he said, choking on his laughter. "Nice tail. We can use you as a duster from now on."

"Rhys Williams!" Gwen screeched as she stepped back. "You're awful."

"Bad news." Ianto said as he and Jack came back to join the group.

"What?" Gwen asked, her stomach churning with fear.

"We're out of carrots, all we have is some wilted lettuce." Ianto said, holding out a bag of browning lettuce.

Gwen glared at the group and took a deep breath.

"It's nice to see how you're all so supportive." she said. "Here I am, part rabbit, who the hell knows, perhaps I'll go completely rabbit, and you're just sitting 'round making jokes."

"Oh, come on now, Gwen." Rhys said. "We're just having a bit of fun. If it'd happened to any of them, you know you'd do the same."

"Besides." Jack said as he stared at the tip of an emerging ear. "According to our little guest, you'll change back in anywhere from ten to seventy-two hours."

"I've a dress fitting tomorrow." she said. "I can't very well go like this."

"It's all right." Ianto said. "I know a good tailor, he can cut out a bit in the back for your tail, although if you have to start going around like a rabbit..."

"On all fours?" Tosh asked.

"Yeah, that could make things more difficult." Ianto nodded. "But, this tailor is very good."

"I hate you all." Gwen said as she headed for the bathroom, resisting a sudden urge to hop along as she went.

"Gwen!" Rhys called. "Come on."

"All of you!" she called as she slammed the door.

"You know, I read somewhere that female rabbits can be very testy." Owen said.

"Apparently so." Jack said.

"Is she going to completely change?" Rhys asked. "Before switching back?"

"Perhaps." Jack said. "We'll just have to wait and see."

"An all night rabbit patrol." Ianto said. "I think I'll go to the shop, pick up some provisions."

"There's a good pet store not far from here actually." Tosh said.

"I hate you!" Gwen called again as she heard Tosh's last comment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes: Okay, final chapter for what was supposed to have been a one chapter story. Only two chapters though, not too bad for me! Hope you enjoy it. And thanks again for reviews :)**

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An hour later, Gwen finally was coaxed out of the bathroom by Rhys and his promise not to laugh at her anymore.

"If you do, you'll pay." she warned as she opened the door a crack.

"I promise, no wise cracks." he said, crossing his heart.

"Finally emerged from your hole, eh?" Owen said as he sat back eating some leftover Chinese takeaway.

"You wouldn't be laughing if this had happened to you." Gwen said as she sat down and Ianto handed her plate of pizza.

"No, but it didn't, so it's all good." Owen smirked.

"Don't worry, Gwen." Jack said as he took a swig of beer. "According to our friend down in the cells, you didn't get enough of a bite to go completely rabbit."

"No, I'm just a rabbit possibly through to my dress fitting tomorrow." she said as she stared down at the pizza.

"Chicken." Ianto said. "That's what you always want on your pizza."

"Rabbit's supposed to taste of chicken." Owen informed the group.

"Don't look at me." Rhys said defensively at the glare Gwen sent his way. "You said that I had to promise not to make any cracks, you didn't make the others take that little vow."

"Thank you for that, by the way." Owen said as he set his container down and grinned.

"I'm glad I can be a source of amusement." she said as she picked the pieces of chicken off her pizza.

"You're not sporting any new fur or anything." Tosh said with a smile. "That's something, isn't it?"

"I think so." Jack said. "If you go by the others who were attacked, they completely morphed in a few hours."

"Really, you could just shave." Ianto said. "Of course, that won't help with the teeth, or the tail."

"Or the ear." Rhys said as he scratched the long ear, making it twitch.

"I hope we come across rat people." Gwen said as she picked at her food, smacking Rhys' hand away. "We'd see how you like it Owen."

"He'd be with his own people." Ianto muttered.

"Hey now, mate." Owen objected.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Gwen." Ianto said, ignoring Owen. "But you're quite disturbing."

"I'm half rabbit." she said. "I'd think most people would be scared. It's not like I'm the Trix rabbit or something cute."

"I don't think the Trix rabbit is cute." Owen said. "Something a bit sinister."

"Sinister about the Trix rabbit?" Jack asked. "Oh come on."

"I have to agree." Ianto said. "I know, I can't believe I just said it either." he added at the look of surprise everyone was showing. "But, there's something not quite right about a rabbit so obsessed with getting his paws on cereal."

"I've never understood why he can't just have some." Tosh put in.

"Because Trix are for kids." Owen reminded her.

"The rabbit from Monty Python." Jack said. "Now that's a scary rabbit."

"The one from the Holy Grail?" Ianto asked. "No, see, that's just too obvious." he shook his head. "You'd never expect the Trix rabbit to turn."

"Exactly, the killer rabbit obviously has a reputation as a killer, so you know to be on guard when you're around him." Owen said. "The Trix rabbit is a bit of a loser."

"The Trix rabbit is always after cereal." Jack reminded them. "What's so scary about that?"

"True, the killer rabbit is just blood thirsty." Tosh added. "His one goal in life seems to kill."

"And these are the people you spend hours and hours with." Rhys muttered as he and Gwen listened to the conversation.

"It's a miracle I'm not locked up in a nuthouse, isn't it?" she responded as she played with her long ear.

"I know." he said. "If anything, I'd be afraid of the leprechaun from the Lucky Charms box."

"He's three feet tall." Owen said, catching Rhys' comment.

"But he's a leprechaun, he's magical, so he knows different ways to hurt people." Rhys argued.

"True." Jack said. "Leprechauns can be pretty mean little things."

"You've met a leprechaun?" Gwen asked, thinking she was the only sane one in the room.

"Once." he nodded. "The whole pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, it's true." he explained. "But you can't get anywhere near it without them attacking."

"You were attacked by leprechauns?" Ianto laughed. "I think my respect for you just took a hit."

"They're not as cute as the little guy on the box, trust me." Jack said. "Remember those faeries we came across?" the group nodded. "They look like kittens in comparison."

"Seriously, Jack." Gwen said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Seriously." Jack replied, rolling up his pant leg. "See that there."

"You said you got that from a fight when you were a soldier." Ianto said.

"I did. A fight with a leprechaun." Jack nodded. "I wasn't going to tell you who I fought with. Kind of a mood killer."

"You set the mood with stories as to how you got your scars?" Rhys asked.

"Different strokes for different folks." Jack shrugged.

"Please, we don't need details of your's and Ianto's evenings." Owen said, hodling up his hands.

"If only." Ianto muttered, gaining a glare from Jack.

"Count Chocula scares me." Tosh said, leaning back in her chair and sipping her coffee.

"The chocolate loving, one toothed vampire?" Gwen asked.

"I don't buy that he's an innocent, chocolate loving vampire." Tosh said.

"Think the same of Boo-Berry and Franken-Berry?" Owen asked with a laugh.

"Yes." she answered without hesitating. "Besides, maybe the Count has some dentures somewhere that he uses to suck the blood from unsuspecting people."

"Can a vampire have dentures?" Ianto asked, looking at Jack.

"Why are you asking me?" Jack asked.

"You're the font of all knowledge, no matter how bizarre." he answered.

"Well, I've never come across vampires, so I can't help you." Jack replied.

Hours went by, the group discussing their various, odd, and sometimes rather scary, fears and logic.

Ianto confessed that the movie "E.T." creeped him out, Jack revealed that he'd met aliens like that and the various ways those light-up fingers can be used, much to the dismay of those around him.

Owen told the group that he never trusted the Tooh Fairy, because she was, as he put it, rip off artist:

"All those bloody teeth, not to mention what I went through to get them out for the money, and all I ever got was fifty pence, totally not worth it. And what does she do with all those bloody teeth?"

Rhys told the group that he had a fear of squirrels:

"Can never trust them, they can never look you in the eye." he said.

Tosh said that she'd had a "near death experience" with a duck:

"I can't go anywhere near a pond to this day if there's a duck about."

Gwen, with even more teasing from the others, revealed that she'd once had a steamy dream about Peter Pan:

"We'd been to Euro Disney." she explained as the others rocked with laughter. "There was a bloke goin' about dressed as him and he filled out his tights damn well."

"Gwen, your ear." Tosh said as she recovered from her side-splitting laughter.

"If it's twitching again, I can't help it." she sighed.

"It's gone." Rhys said. "Your teeth are back to normal too."

"Really?" she asked as she jumped to her feet and ran to the bathroom. Looking down as she ran, she saw that the fur was mostly gone from her arms. "I'm not a rabbit anymore!" she screamed in joy.

"Not something I'd have ever thought I'd hear my fiancee say." Rhys said as he shook his head. "You lot do give people new and unique experiences."

"That's what we do best." Jack smiled.

"So true." Ianto mumbled, smiling over at the captain.

"Is my tail completely gone?" Gwen asked as she turned around in front of Rhys.

"Yes." he laughed.

"Looks like I won't be needing that tailor of your's after all, Ianto." Gwen said with a smile. "Come on, let's get home." she added as she grabbed Rhys's hand and dragged him out the door.

"For some reason, the phrase 'going at it like rabbits', has popped into my head." Ianto said as he watched them leave.

"Sounds like a good idea." Jack said. "Owen, Tosh, I'll see you in the morning."

"I think that's his nice way of saying "Get lost so I can get laid.", Tosh." Owen said as he stood up. "Come on, I'll give you a lift home."

"Good night." Tosh said as she followed Owen. "Be good." she called over her shoulder.

"I always am, aren't I?" Jack asked as he led Ianto to his office.

"Yes, sir." Ianto smiled.


End file.
